On death and dying

Today my friend lost a dear friend to cancer. I met her friend one time at a party at her house. She welcomed me so graciously even though I had never met her before, it was like we were friends. You could tell she had a beautiful heart and she was a beautiful lady. She leaves behind a husband and small children and it breaks my heart to think of their loss. Although I only knew her for a minute, she touched my life through her hospitality, her warmth and the stories of her my friend shared.

Death is such a sad thing. A trite statement, but true. I recently watched a PBS documentary online called "Undertaking" which helps to dispel some of the fear associated with the process of dying. It had interviews with a couple who had a 2 year old who was dying, and an elderly lady who didn't have much time left here. It was done by a family owned and operated funeral home and took you through the process of death from the moment of release to the moment of burial. It was very sad but very informative and something worth watching. The families interviewed were very touching, and the sensativity and respect with which the funeral home handled the whole process was comforting.

I wonder what will happen when my time comes. Not to be morbid, but lets face it, it will happen to us all unless Jesus comes first. Will I be mourned. Will I have touched any lives? Will anyone be richer for having known me? I know this leaves me wide open for many jokes but I am serious...when I think of the people who have passed through my life, I have been touched by so many beautiful lives, there are so many people that have made such an impression on me. I hope that I have done the same for others.

In hospice training we are taught what to say, and definately what NOT to say when someone dies. And yet, words are so insufficient during this time. I am so sorry that my friend lost her friend. I am so sorry that there is death in the world. I hate that so many wonderful people have to suffer when so many others hurt so many people and coast through life with the most wonderful blessings falling on them. It just doesn't seem fair.

In sunday school, one of our teachers was talking about how God is our father, and how we should feel like as a child we can crawl up in His lap and let Him wrap His arms around us and give us comfort. I hope that the family and friends of this wonderful lady can find that comfort. That God will wrap His arms around them and let them be filled with peace...that He will cover them in His love, and the love of their friends and that time will be kind and lessen the pain.

Heaven has always been a bit scary to me...the concept of eternity is one I just cannot wrap my mind around. I remember as a child thinking for forever and ever and ever and just being terrified. I remember thinking what would we do in Heaven? And in my childishness, wondering if there would be time to play or would it just be all about worshipping Jesus like we were taught. As an adult, an eternity of worshipping God and His Son and singing praises in a new body that will feel no pain or sorrow seems like a pretty good deal. I can do without playing.

I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of the process. I think its a natural fear. I had a bout with pneumonia a couple of years ago and could not take a breath to save my life. AFter a call to 911 and an ambulance ride to the hospital barely being able to take in any air, I knew what it was to fear the process. Even though I was with people who were trained to take care of me, I felt no confidence or peace...I was terrified and felt alone. It was one of the scariest times of my life, and all I could do was pray that I would make it. I did, but it sure left an impression on me that life is fragile and people cannot always save us, no matter how knowledgeable they are.

I grieve for my friend. I grieve for all of those who have lost someone dear to them, or are in the process of losing someone. I pray that God will protect them and surround them with His angels, and give them comfort and peace. Death is not fair to the living. There is always a hole where the person was...always a place at the table that is empty, a space in the bed that is no longer warmed, an empty seat in the car, or on the couch... Time does ease the pain, but I don't think it ever takes it away entirely.

May God bless those who loved my friend's friend...and may they find their way through this time with God's grace and fond memories of a life well lived.