I know someone who dislikes that statement..."It is what it is". To her it connotes giving up-accepting that the situation is hopeless. I see that statement differently.
I just lost my job- it is what it is. We didn't get the contract. It is what it is. Someone I trusted has betrayed me. It is what it is. My 16 year old dog passed. It is what it is. I failed a test, I missed the bus, my car broke down, its raining on the day I wanted to -, bad thing bad thing bad thing...it is what it is.
And what I mean by that is at this moment, in this second, in this specific point in time-this IS the situation. It is what it is. I cannot at this moment change what has happened. I cannot change that my job is gone, I cannot change that my feelings have been hurt. I cannot change that my dog is no longer here, or that the bus is a mile down the road, or that the sun did not come out today. I can do nothing in this second in time to turn around the event that just occurred. It is what it is.
And in using that statement, I give myself a moment to: take a deep breath, gather my thoughts, restrain my knee-jerk emotional response...I tell you, in that statement, that I cannot comment right this second. That I need a minute to consider this situation. That I am ok...just give me a bit of space to...
follow up with the unspoken statement that is this: Where do I go from here??? Better yet, "God, where will you lead me from here? God I am hurting. Father, I am afraid. God I am angry. And in all of this I don't want to sin...so God, what do I do???" (and I will admit that I sometimes sin in my anger and hurt anyway--- I am human--- I say ugly things and think ugly things - believe me- I am faaaaaaaaar from perfect- or even good)
So when I say, it is what it is, I am not accepting defeat. I am not saying that hurting me is fine, or missing class is great, or that the bill for a car repair is not freaking me out. I am not saying any of that. I am merely saying- it is what it is. Its not that bad. I have so much. I am so blessed. My Father shall supply all my needs...And now I will look to Him for guidance.
Today has been an "it is what it is" day. And I used the phrase...and it kept me from reacting too badly- and it gave me a minute to take the hurt and disappointment and frustration and put it where it belongs so that I can be led where I need to be.
So when those situations come my way- and I say the phrase, its not because its hopeless or I am defeated by life...I'm just sayin' it is what it is- and lets find a way (with His guidance) to move on.
There, I'm done. Eh, it is what it is.
(and no, the events above didn't necessarily happen to me - today at any rate-)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
ruminating on the wheel while in the hallway at work...
Life is like a wheel. Sooner or later, it always come around to where you started again.
How very apropos Stephen!
Today while working the sale table at the hospital (btw if you weren't there you missed out on some very fabu 25% off jewelry but that's neither her nor there) I found my mind wandering during the lulls. At one point, I heard a visitor request a wheelchair from one of the transportation employees for an elderly woman on a cane who very obviously needed some assistance. And I began to think...and this is usually where I get in trouble.
The wheel. It comes in many sizes (but not shapes...not really)...and is made of many different materials...but have you ever considered how much the wheel affects YOUR life from the very beginning to the very end? A circular tool created around 3200 BC for conveyance plays a critical role to this day...lets take a look.
You are born. Congratulations!!! And quickly you are whisked into the nursery and placed in what? A bassinet with wheels!
After a number of tests and a clean-up (for which your father is probably very grateful as the birth goose probably really grossed him out) , you are wheeled to your mothers room and any time you are transported in the hospital, it is on wheels in said bassinet. And when its time to leave, as per hospital rules, you are wheeled out in your mother's arms in a wheelchair, whereupon you are placed in a seat in a car on what?? 4 wheels. After you get home, your proud parents stroll around the neighborhood showing you off in your stroller which is on wheels. When you are a bit older, you are pulled around in your awesome red wood sided wagon.
After a number of tests and a clean-up (for which your father is probably very grateful as the birth goose probably really grossed him out) , you are wheeled to your mothers room and any time you are transported in the hospital, it is on wheels in said bassinet. And when its time to leave, as per hospital rules, you are wheeled out in your mother's arms in a wheelchair, whereupon you are placed in a seat in a car on what?? 4 wheels. After you get home, your proud parents stroll around the neighborhood showing you off in your stroller which is on wheels. When you are a bit older, you are pulled around in your awesome red wood sided wagon.
And time passes. You grow and soon get your first self propelled conveyance- a big wheel, tricycle or bicycle with training wheels and FREEDOM!!! You now have the ability to tool as far around the neighborhood as your parents allow.
Later comes a skateboard or rollerskates- but be careful- many a broken arm and pair of torn jeans are the results of the aforementioned! These wheels give you exercise, allow you to visit friends, and give you the chance to see how far you can get your bike to go off the huge dirt mounds created while your neighborhood is being constructed. The Doss brothers were definitely the best at this!!! But I digress. School bus- need I say more? Yes, wheels.
Later comes a skateboard or rollerskates- but be careful- many a broken arm and pair of torn jeans are the results of the aforementioned! These wheels give you exercise, allow you to visit friends, and give you the chance to see how far you can get your bike to go off the huge dirt mounds created while your neighborhood is being constructed. The Doss brothers were definitely the best at this!!! But I digress. School bus- need I say more? Yes, wheels.
Time passes and you turn sixteen. And you get your license. And you drive a car- again, on wheels
. if you live a big city you may use public transport which again has wheels...and if you travel, your plane will land on wheels. Wheels will take you wherever you want to go- They are your ticket to freedom- your chance to see the world- Wheels get you to visit your parents or children, to spend important events such as graduations. weddings, honeymoons, anniversary parties...And to make travel easier, you pull your suitcase which is on wheels.
. if you live a big city you may use public transport which again has wheels...and if you travel, your plane will land on wheels. Wheels will take you wherever you want to go- They are your ticket to freedom- your chance to see the world- Wheels get you to visit your parents or children, to spend important events such as graduations. weddings, honeymoons, anniversary parties...And to make travel easier, you pull your suitcase which is on wheels.
Time passes and you are much older. Now you are on a walker with wheels, or using a scooter with wheels, or in a wheelchair.
And if you get sick, you may be on a stretcher with wheels, or even in a hospital bed- with wheels, arriving via ambulance- with wheels.
And if you get sick, you may be on a stretcher with wheels, or even in a hospital bed- with wheels, arriving via ambulance- with wheels.
And your time walking this earth comes to an end and you once again rely on wheels. Your casket rides on a casket cart (yes, I looked this up) which is on wheels. (also see Casket Buddy). And it is transported to the cemetery in a hearse on wheels.
I'm not sure where this thought train (another vehicle with wheels) came from- I know it was the cane lady, but its bizarre to think of how much of one's life is affected by wheels. There is no profound meaning here- no point to be made...just ruminating while my mind runs in circles (which are shaped like...wheels)!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
(not to be morbid, but..)
So...it seems that between Hospice and working with older volunteers, I have had the opportunity to attend many funerals over the past couple years...so I've had a lot of occasion to think about what I want mine to be...and lets face it, if it were left to my family I'd probably be chucked in the woods and then the fam would hit Outback...
At any rate, I feel if I post this here, my wishes will have to be met- I have you all as witnesses...
1-I want to be cremated. If I show up in a casket, I ask one of you to please haul me to the crematorium in the back of a pick-up if need be...I do NOT want a casket (even if it is the old toe pincher kind), and I especially do NOT want one that is open. After all, there is no one who can make my hair as big as I can- and I don't want to be remembered with a bad 'do! Now, I know a lot of people think cremation is wrong and I've heard a few mention the rapture and the dead rising and you have to have a body to do that- however, people die in fires and I'm sure they'll make their way to their new bodies as assuredly as I will if I am cremated. Subject closed.
2- I do NOT want a funeral service. I want a time of celebration. I would like to have a few of my better pictures with some flowers in the front of the church- and I would like to have a choir- preferably a black choir (African American- politically correct) because they sure know how to raise the roof and let the Spirit in! I attended the funeral of a dear friend- an African American gentleman and let me tell you- I'm not sure the angels coulda sung it better!!! That said, sing songs of praise and homecoming because I am in a much better place praising Jesus- so be happy for me!!
3- I do NOT want someone who doesn't know me talking about my life. If my pastor cannot be filled in on what an amazing person I am (haha- kidding), then have someone who knew me well either write down and give to him what should be said- OR- that someone should say it themselves...or perhaps a few people...I abhor attending a service where the person officiating obviously doesn't know the deceased, or worse, mispronounces their name. Really?? Wow...and make sure the program has no typos...I'm really anal about that too! And don't make me out to be a saint- I know I'm not one- point out my flaws...its ok- really. We all have them. And sometimes they are what make us as real and amazing as we are.
4- I want the pastor to (not and long and drawn out) share the path to salvation. I am a Christian. I will not force my beliefs on anyone else. However, please respect me enough if you don't believe to at least listen for a few minutes to what is most important to me and consider... God loves you, Christ died for you...there is more to it than this world. I would love to think that someone was saved because I died.
5- I don't want my ashes scattered...I think it would be kinda fun to have them in a sparkly purple container- and perhaps they could travel around with whoever is left in my family--- they could be part of a centerpiece at thanksgiving, or even a stocking stuffer at Christmas. But really, I would be ok with having them buried. Just not scattered...that kinda freaks me out and there is always the chance that someone might inhale me. That's just gross.
6- And when its all said and done, love on my family. That's my biggest wish. Don't try to be "polite" and not disturb them in their time of deep mourning and grief (I am quite sure they will be inconsolable when my time here is done)...be there, tell them Kristen stories, laugh with them, cry with them- whatever ya'll want to do- but be there for them. Oh- and my family likes to eat- just not casseroles...fried chicken would suffice- a nice roast- perhaps a couple of pizzas- but not casseroles...and please use disposable containers. We, as a family, stink at returning things.
I think that's about it for now...of course, when the time comes, if anyone feels like they need to fall out in the aisle wailing and crying for the loss that is my earthly life- that's ok- it would definitely make me feel loved...and please feel free to wear a tiara in my honor!!!
God is good...His heaven is my goal...I can't wait to hear the angels sing...I think it will be a glorious place!
Oh, and give me a call now while I'm still here and lets do lunch---that's the best place for this journey to begin!!!
At any rate, I feel if I post this here, my wishes will have to be met- I have you all as witnesses...
1-I want to be cremated. If I show up in a casket, I ask one of you to please haul me to the crematorium in the back of a pick-up if need be...I do NOT want a casket (even if it is the old toe pincher kind), and I especially do NOT want one that is open. After all, there is no one who can make my hair as big as I can- and I don't want to be remembered with a bad 'do! Now, I know a lot of people think cremation is wrong and I've heard a few mention the rapture and the dead rising and you have to have a body to do that- however, people die in fires and I'm sure they'll make their way to their new bodies as assuredly as I will if I am cremated. Subject closed.
2- I do NOT want a funeral service. I want a time of celebration. I would like to have a few of my better pictures with some flowers in the front of the church- and I would like to have a choir- preferably a black choir (African American- politically correct) because they sure know how to raise the roof and let the Spirit in! I attended the funeral of a dear friend- an African American gentleman and let me tell you- I'm not sure the angels coulda sung it better!!! That said, sing songs of praise and homecoming because I am in a much better place praising Jesus- so be happy for me!!
3- I do NOT want someone who doesn't know me talking about my life. If my pastor cannot be filled in on what an amazing person I am (haha- kidding), then have someone who knew me well either write down and give to him what should be said- OR- that someone should say it themselves...or perhaps a few people...I abhor attending a service where the person officiating obviously doesn't know the deceased, or worse, mispronounces their name. Really?? Wow...and make sure the program has no typos...I'm really anal about that too! And don't make me out to be a saint- I know I'm not one- point out my flaws...its ok- really. We all have them. And sometimes they are what make us as real and amazing as we are.
4- I want the pastor to (not and long and drawn out) share the path to salvation. I am a Christian. I will not force my beliefs on anyone else. However, please respect me enough if you don't believe to at least listen for a few minutes to what is most important to me and consider... God loves you, Christ died for you...there is more to it than this world. I would love to think that someone was saved because I died.
5- I don't want my ashes scattered...I think it would be kinda fun to have them in a sparkly purple container- and perhaps they could travel around with whoever is left in my family--- they could be part of a centerpiece at thanksgiving, or even a stocking stuffer at Christmas. But really, I would be ok with having them buried. Just not scattered...that kinda freaks me out and there is always the chance that someone might inhale me. That's just gross.
6- And when its all said and done, love on my family. That's my biggest wish. Don't try to be "polite" and not disturb them in their time of deep mourning and grief (I am quite sure they will be inconsolable when my time here is done)...be there, tell them Kristen stories, laugh with them, cry with them- whatever ya'll want to do- but be there for them. Oh- and my family likes to eat- just not casseroles...fried chicken would suffice- a nice roast- perhaps a couple of pizzas- but not casseroles...and please use disposable containers. We, as a family, stink at returning things.
I think that's about it for now...of course, when the time comes, if anyone feels like they need to fall out in the aisle wailing and crying for the loss that is my earthly life- that's ok- it would definitely make me feel loved...and please feel free to wear a tiara in my honor!!!
God is good...His heaven is my goal...I can't wait to hear the angels sing...I think it will be a glorious place!
Oh, and give me a call now while I'm still here and lets do lunch---that's the best place for this journey to begin!!!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Don't know how to title this--- so I'm not gonna bother.
Ok- so I've tried to write this a thousand ways, (ok, actually only about 5 but thats not nearly as dramatic) and I just can't seem to say what I want to say in my usual manner... so here goes.
I am a Christian.
I am super close friends with someone who is gay.
I love my friend so very much.
When my friend hurts, I hurt.
When my friend is happy, it makes me happy.
When my friend is afraid I am supportive.
When my friend is angry, I listen and sometimes am angry too.
My friend makes me laugh.
Sometimes my friend cries and I hug my friend.
Sometimes my friend makes me so mad I could spit.
Sometimes I make my friend pretty darned mad too.
My friend and I know things about each other that not many, if any, other people know.
My friend's life is not always easy because of my friend's sexual persuasion.
People are not always nice because of this persuasion.
I know that some other Christians do not approve of my friendship with this friend.
I know that I do not care.
I know that I do not judge them for that.
I do not agree with everything regarding my gay friend.
I do not agree with everything regarding my straight friends.
In neither case do I judge them for who they are.
The bottom line is this- my friend is my friend.
I love my friend.
God loves my friend.
Thats all.
I am a Christian.
I am super close friends with someone who is gay.
I love my friend so very much.
When my friend hurts, I hurt.
When my friend is happy, it makes me happy.
When my friend is afraid I am supportive.
When my friend is angry, I listen and sometimes am angry too.
My friend makes me laugh.
Sometimes my friend cries and I hug my friend.
Sometimes my friend makes me so mad I could spit.
Sometimes I make my friend pretty darned mad too.
My friend and I know things about each other that not many, if any, other people know.
My friend's life is not always easy because of my friend's sexual persuasion.
People are not always nice because of this persuasion.
I know that some other Christians do not approve of my friendship with this friend.
I know that I do not care.
I know that I do not judge them for that.
I do not agree with everything regarding my gay friend.
I do not agree with everything regarding my straight friends.
In neither case do I judge them for who they are.
The bottom line is this- my friend is my friend.
I love my friend.
God loves my friend.
Thats all.
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