my hospice visit

Nursing homes are one of the saddest places I've ever visited, but one of the most rewarding.

When I was young, my grandparents were in a nursing home and I remember visiting...the elderly lined up in their wheelchairs, some of them reaching out to us making gutteral noises that were quite scary. i remember the smells and the age of the people and I really hoped I would never have to go to another one again.

WEll, today I was there. Well, not there, but here in kernersville at a nursing home visiting my hospice patient. I walked in the front door and the residents were all sitting at tables ready for lunch. I looked around and for a second flashed back to my younger days and had a slight shudder. But then I threw back my shoulders and put on my big girl panties and decided to go ahead and get on with it.

I met my charge, and she was a wonderful precious person. She regretted that they couldn't feed me but I quickly assured her that the chicken and creamed corn looked delicious but I couldn't possibly eat anything. WE spent some time getting to know each other- along with her two roommates who really were a hoot! After lunch we went back to their room and she got in bed and asked me to stay a little longer. I'll admit conversation lagged at points- its difficult to spend 1 1/2 hours with someone you've never met before, who is dying and tired, without some silences. But it really was a great visit. I am so glad I was able to go.

Reflecting on the way home, I was saddened by all the poor souls in that dining room. There were so many little hunched over people with thinning hair and lessining abilities. I pondered how these were once young vibrant people with their lives ahead of them. Young brides, young mothers, young men with a gleam in their eye, people working to make it somewhere with nothing but possibilities ahead of them. How very sad to end life in this condition. But it warmed my heart to see how they took care of each other. How they would touch a hand or help with a bite of food. They are not something to fear, but dear people who need to be loved on.

One thing I love about hospice is they don't let people end it alone. They have volunteers who visit and make the people who are at the end of their life feel special and loved. I hope I helped do that today. Family cannot be there all the time. Its nice to have visitors when the family isn't around, so says Marie.

I had a great day today. I cannot wait to go back and spend more time getting to know her. And then the thought hit, she won't be around forever and that made me a little sad. I already have affection for her...what will I do when...but I pushed the thought aside. I will make the most of the time we have, learn what she has to teach me and love on her like there's no tomorrow. Cuz you just never know.